Episode 30: About growth and a pause in the show

As Mer and I decide to take a pause in episodes, we talk about growth - what is it, and how does it happen? We talk about, what looks to us, the ultimate “tool” available to us when wanting to grow and expand, in any aspect of life. It was a great episode to pause on.

Thank you to those who have been with us on this journey, and we'll see what comes next.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Is growth up to us?

  • What if we’re made to grow?

  • What if growth doesn’t need to be pushed or forced?

  • Expanding by looking, wondering and sharing

  • Cool byproducts of exploring and expressing

  • What if growth is a wider and wider lens of awareness?

  • What if playing in the wonder is more than enough?

  • Can we stop ourselves from growing?

  • Tuning into inklings as a catalyst for growth

  • A lesson from the flowers

Episode 29: About making decisions

Do you know that stressed or anxious feeling around making a decision? Worrying about weighing your options and making the right choice? Us too. Join us in an exploration of making decisions, where we get curious about how decisions are ever made at all.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • What if decision making is naturally effortless?

  • What if we notice rather than decide?

  • What if not knowing yet can be totally satisfying?

  • The unhelpful pressure of finding the “right” answer

  • What if we just overcomplicate decisions that seem more important?

  • Noticing where all our “doing” actually comes from

  • The millions of things happening beyond our conscious choices

  • Playing in the mystery of free will

  • The innocence of always doing what makes sense to us in the moment

  • Our cool capacity to see more in any moment

  • “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”  - Rumi

Episode 28: About bodies

“You are a ghost driving a meat covered skeleton made of star dust. What do you have to be afraid of?” Mer and I explore the idea of bodies in this episode, through the lens of health, appearance and our relationship between those things.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • How much we think about our body and how little we need to 

  • Do bodies need managing and solutions? 

  • Is our body in our way?

  • What if bodies are REALLY not separate from the intelligence of life?

  • Pinning our body up against the wall

  • Presence and listening with our body, without agenda

  • Riding the possibility of Alzheimers or cancer down the road…

  • The rabbit hole of thinking about our appearance

  • Rethinking the positive body movement

  • What if exercise is play?

  • What if our body isn’t us and isn’t ours?

  • “You are a ghost driving a meat-covered skeleton made of stardust. What do you have to be afraid of?” -Anonymous

  • “Out beyond all ideas of wrongdoing and righting there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.”  -Rumi

Episode 27: About Brianne's book

My book is now available (on Amazon after June 29, preorder at https://www.loveanddementia.com/book) and Mer graciously played the role of interviewer to ask me questions about the themes of the book. I’m happy for it to go out in the world and give hope to those facing the difficult journey of loving someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. Listen for what the journey with my mother has opened my eyes to, and then purchase the book for more, if you’re so inclined.


More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Why Brianne wrote the book now, in the middle of her Mom’s journey

  • A look at the book’s title

  • The first moment Brianne’s mom didn’t know who she was

  • What about the worst part of it, the painful parts?

  • How has Brianne’s relationship with suffering changed?

  • Why love doesn’t care how you feel

  • What about Brianne’s forgetting and remembering?

  • Deeper intimacy and connection in the face of so much loss

  • Brianne turns her mom into a metaphor of what life is

  • Finding a newer, deeper center of balance

  • Palm trees and wind storms

  • What’s left when it all gets stripped away?

  • Brianne’s hope for the book

  • link to buy: https://www.loveanddementia.com/book

Episode 26: About discomfort

I’m always aware that Mer and I are recording our conversations for an audience, but this one is one I needed. In this episode we look to see what we can see about discomfort - something I know I’ve definitely been feeling a lot of lately, and I know I’m not alone. It’s been rough out there in the world. Join Mer and I as we explore that discomfort.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • What if feeling uncomfortable isn’t a bad thing?

  • What if discomfort isn’t personal?

  • Being comfortable with being uncomfortable

  • Listening without our shield of ideas

  • What if discomfort is a side effect of life rearranging itself?

  • Moving from coping to opening

  • What if discomfort is an invitation, a doorway?

  • Looking through discomfort rather than at it

  • Being in conversation with life instead of ourselves

  • What if discomfort is life’s way of asking, “Wanna talk about it?”

Episode 25: About progress

How do we know how we’re doing? How much does that matter? When we look for progress, it feels like it can be both a motivator, and an idea that gets in our way. So, what should we do with the idea of progress?

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • We are always in progress

  • The “It’s not fast enough” thought

  • What if self sabotage isn’t a real thing?

  • Grace with the unpredictable pace of life

  • Marking progress as a tool in the game

  • Respect and appreciation for the unknown

  • Does life make it’s own progress?

  • The dance of giving something our time and attention

  • Suffering from an overinflated sense of “I” 

  • Beating ourselves up with what we make up

  • Why does nothing require our worry?

Episode 24: About giving up

We think giving up is a bad thing in a "make it happen!" culture. What if it isn't? What if it's a good idea? Mer and I explore this and more thoughts on 'giving up' in this episode.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • A look at the words, “giving” and “up”

  • Giving up as a strategy versus getting to the end of your rope

  • Does life work on stuff when we don’t?

  • Genuine giving up, without strings or agendas

  • What about the saying, “Never give up!”?

  • Dancing between making stuff happen and giving up

  • What if the only thing we can really give up is a thought?

  • How recognition of truth soothes our soul

  • The gift of awareness and noticing

  • The Perfume of Silence by Francis Lucille

Episode 23: About faith

Is faith ordinary, or extraordinary? Must we have faith in specific things, or all of life? What do we build from faith, and where within us does that building happen? We explore these things playfully in today’s episode.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Faith as an awareness of knowing 

  • Faith versus desperate hoping

  • Exploring faith through existential crisis and religion

  • Faith in what’s behind and before “everything”

  • What if faith is just a side effect?

  • Why we can’t “do” faith

  • Faith as sustenance

  • The game of growing faith

  • The gift of having less and less faith in ourselves

  • Life moving us versus us moving life

  • A fresh take on moving mountains

Episode 22: About being spiritual

So you’re spiritual - now what? That’s what Brianne has been feeling lately, and Mer graciously explores with her. Brianne wonders, does spirituality become self indulgent? Is there anything we need to do once we reach a certain level of peace with life? If you’re curious too, come listen and explore with us.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • What isn’t spiritual? 

  • Why we go spiritually seeking

  • Stepping back into action after spiritual epiphanies 

  • The interplay of spiritual seeking and physical action 

  • Noticing we’re ready for a new adventure

  • Being pushed or being moved to step into new circles

  • Getting too caught up with ourselves and our own journey

  • Playing full out in the world, knowing where we can rest

  • Looking from the mountaintop, playing in the valley

  • Putting our hands in the clay of life

Episode 21: About being in a funk

Are you feeling funky? Off? Out of sorts? Good! Join the club! We do too. Listen in as we explore the feeling of a funk, what it does or does not mean and what is on the other side of it.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Are funks really a problem?

  • Being aware we’re lost in a funk

  • Can life still make stuff happen, even in a funk?

  • Grace to let ourselves be human

  • What if we’re not really checked out, we just think we are?

  • Taking our hands off the wheel

  • Life doesn’t need to be understood to be be fully lived

  • Thought is not reality, but our reality is made of thought

  • Glimpsing reality beyond the world we walk around in in our heads

  • A fresh look at our role in the art of life

  • Existing is so weird and cool

  • Netflix show that mentioned rainbows: Abstract - The Art of Design; Season 2, Episode 1 - Olafur Eliasson

Episode 20: About rest

Would you like a rest from the drama that comes with existing? Listen along as we explore how rest is always available.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • The appearance of rest versus really being in it

  • Rest versus relief

  • What if peace is always already here?

  • What is our role in discovering peace?

  • Why can’t we “do” rest?

  • The oops of being in hot pursuit of peace

  • The richness of stillness

  • Playing with sponges and water

  • Letting our tools be “of the moment”

  • The gold mine beneath all our ideas and beliefs

  • What if seeing truth naturally dissolves what we’ve built on top of it?

  • Be still and know that I am God - Psalms 46:10

Episode 19: About identity

Who am I? Who are you? Follow us down the rabbit hole on today’s episode about identity. Don’t try to hard to follow what we’re saying, but do let it spark your own questions within you. We promise it’s worth the journey and exploration.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Why it’s such a juicy, delightful and sometimes scary exploration

  • Loosening our grip on who we think we are

  • The gift of exploring who we’re not

  • Who is the self we’re trying to work on?

  • Blurring the edges of who we think we are

  • Getting a taste of our true identity

  • What if who we are doesn’t need to be soothed, fixed or empowered?

  • What about fault and responsibility?

  • What if we are the awareness of all of it?

  • What if all the juice is in the silence between the notes?

  • Freedom to be human

Episode 18: About seriousness

“Nothing in life actually requires seriousness” This is a notion that Brianne ponders frequently. Join us as we explore it’s essence and implications for life.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Is seriousness ever required?

  • What do we mean by “serious”?

  • What does seriousness have to do with care and importance?

  • Caring about stuff without holding it tightly

  • Popping the bubble of our made up assumptions

  • Why are we “okay no matter what”?

  • What if life isn’t inherently serious?

  • Seriousness & complicated versus simple & obvious

  • Getting a feel for living with lightness

Episode 17: About marriage and relationships

In a society that tells you relationships take work, Mer and Brianne suggest that may not be true. We explore the birthplace of connection and what gets in the way - but question whether or not you need to do anything about it.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Does love take work?

  • How our personal worlds collide

  • How our thinking distorts how other people look

  • What if love and peace are always already here?

  • Not putting weight on all the moments that feel off

  • What if we don’t have to solve messes to get out of them?

  • What if the basis of connection is beyond the chaos?

  • Seeing our thinking about people for what it is

  • The part we play when our feelings get hurt

  • Finding the space where our thoughts about people are irrelevant

  • What if it doesn’t take effort to enjoy other human beings?

  • Realizing a deeper truth about who and what we are

Episode 16: About hope

Where you look for hope, and what you think it is, will affect the hope you feel. Join us as we explore what hope is to us, where we find it, and what we think it is.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • We can’t fake hope

  • What if hope has nothing to do with the future?

  • Hope says this moment isn’t everything

  • What if hope is just the space of knowing that there’s more?

  • Hope is the breathing room around our experience

  • What if hope (and everything else we’re looking for) is always in the background?

  • The cosmic joke

  • Real hope vs a positive mental attitude 

  • The hopefulness of understanding we’re never stuck with the experience we’re having

  • Looking at what actually fuels our experience rather than trying to change it

  • What if hope is just a natural side effect of glimpsing truth?

  • Do the past and the future really exist?

  • Hope is in the now

  • “The divine passes from the formless to form, and as human beings we are both spectators and participants in this spiritual theater called life.” - Sydney Banks

Episode 15: About change

If you want something to change, how much of that change is up to you? What fuels change? How does it happen and where? These are just some of the questions we swirl around in with this episode.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Can things really change in an instant?

  • Change is always already happening

  • What’s our ‘come from’ in trying to create change, and does it matter?

  • Loosening our grip on our own agendas

  • What gets in the way of seeing possibilities for change?

  • Where is the greatest leverage for effortless change?

  • The gift of being pushed off the edge of our made up worlds

  • Does anything have to change for us to be okay?

  • Going upstream when things aren’t working

  • Do we have to force improvement?

  • How seeing our okayness opens up space and possibility

Episode 14: About rocking horses and shopping carts

Intrigued by the title? You'll have to listen in to find out how seeing rocking horses and shopping carts is the answer to a revved up mind.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • That voice in our head

  • What does our mind have to do with our life?

  • How much is our “self manager” really in charge?

  • Life - being in for the ride

  • The big story and our story, holding both

  • What if the absurdity of life doesn’t need to be solved?

  • How does glimpsing the big picture color our human experience?

  • Life - holding more and handling more with less effort

  • Fun with rocking horses and shopping carts

Episode 13: About insecurity and confidence

How often do you wish you were more confident and/or less insecure? The questions we swim around in with this episode - What if you didn't have to do anything to be confident? What if insecurity wasn't a problem? Join us for the exploration.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Insecurity, a flavor in the package of being alive

  • Confidence in what? 

  • Confidence and insecurity, two temporary flavors of thought

  • What if we could be confident, even with insecurity?

  • What if insecurity doesn’t have to go away to stop getting in our way?

  • A fresh look at shyness 

  • What if everything we think about ourselves is up for grabs?

  • Change comes from seeing truth, not by trying harder

  • Being alive versus thinking about being alive

  • What if how we think we’re doing in life is irrelevant?

  • The infinite richness of life itself

  • Jeb Corliss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWfph3iNC-k

Episode 12: About love

I may have said this before… but this is one of my favorite episodes. Mer and I walk the terrain of love, and where we meander is beautiful.

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Love - a big word we make up a whole lot of things about

  • Believing in love versus sensing it’s always here

  • Love is the ground, Love is the container 

  • What if everything is love in disguise?

  • What if we can’t mess love up?

  • The Prodigal Son - looking for love where it isn’t

  • How love innocently becomes a doing

  • What changes as we wake up to love?

  • The ordinariness, beauty and inevitability of falling back into love

  • How understanding changes our experience of the dark

  • Love is what’s left when everything else is gone

Episode 11: About goals and getting stuff done

We're often told that it's important to have goals - but is it? Do we need goals? Do we have to make ourselves do things? Mer and I explore this and more in our fun conversation.

Cut for podcast analytics:

More about Mer: https://www.mermonson.com/

Episode Notes:

  • Do we HAVE to make goals?

  • All the meaning we make up about goals

  • Noticing if we use goals as a tool or a weapon

  • Being moved to do something versus doing it to get somewhere

  • Somewhere past childhood we decided doing stuff is serious work

  • What if goals are just a way to play with getting stuff done?

  • Creating as if our life depended on it, but knowing it actually doesn’t

  • Who is the “me” that’s making up goals?

  • Seeing the difference between what we make up and what we’re made of

  • What if we don’t have to be so in charge of moving ourselves? What if life does that for us?